I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
