my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
