why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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