Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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