So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
