I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i think i just lost a toe
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