I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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