i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
