ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
