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what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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