just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
