The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
