he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
