Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
