When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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