it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
