Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
