It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
someone owes me an orgasm
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
