god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
