He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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