We won't sleep together?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
