We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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