good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
