They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
pop tarts are not kleenex
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Randomize