i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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