it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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