I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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