I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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