so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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