Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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