Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
