I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
