My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Crop dusting thru forever 21
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
