doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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