Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
