i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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