I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
