yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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