I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
