If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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