if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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