The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
