he shaved USA in his pubs
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Let's get the cat blown out
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
