the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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