I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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