Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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