Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
