It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
