Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
