i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Randomize
