Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
